You have an ex. I have an ex.
We all have an ex. An ex-husband, ex-girlfriend, ex-friend, ex-we-almost-dated-but-it-didn’t-really-work-out. Some kind of ex. Somewhere.
National Ex Spouse Day is around the corner on April 14, and we’ve passed one of the worst times of the year for breakups, according to CNN, so it’s a good time to visit breakup songs.
And not just any breakup songs. I’m talking about tunes directed at your ex, telling them what you really think now that you’re done with them.
Let’s revel in some heartbreak, shall we?
“Forget You,” CeeLo Green
While I definitely prefer the more foul-mouthed version of this song, we’ll stick with the radio-friendly version. Anyway: It’s the ultimate tell-off.
“I Don’t Want U Back,” BORNS
The trust is gone. This isn’t happening again.
“Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right,” Bob Dylan
The best breakup song of all time, Dylan’s masterpiece is at once appreciative of the time spent together and a little bit of a dismissive tell-off. Beautiful.
“We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together,” Taylor Swift
“All My Ex’s Live in Texas,” George Strait
Guy can’t even live where he wants because there are just too many broken hearts littering the expanse of Texas.
“Since U Been Gone,” Kelly Clarkson
Thank goodness that one is over. “You had your chance/You blew it.”
“I Will Survive,” Gloria Gaynor
This is the ultimate, “I’m really doing much better now that we’ve broken up, thank you very much.” It doesn’t get better.
“I Don’t F*** With You,” Big Sean
This one doesn’t hold back, dropping more than a few choice F-bombs on an ex who just won’t leave him alone.
“Cry Me a River,” Justin Timberlake
You’re going around talking about how you’ve done JT wrong? Well, he’s got a story to tell of his own.
“Ain’t Worth the Whiskey,” Cole Swindell
The ultimate country music put-down: When so many songs are about getting drunk after a breakup, this ain’t that. There’s plenty of happy things to drink about, so why waste good whiskey on some ex?
“Somebody That I Used to Know,” Gotye
The ultimate revenge is moving on.